Music Monday: “Fill My Cup” by Andrew Ripp
by Debbie Waltz
As many of you know, it’s been a very long two weeks of healing from Covid—it feels like longer. But I’m grateful to say I can see the light at the end of the tunnel now. I’m still using the vaporizer at night, but I am thankful that I rarely cough anymore. My dad still jokes that the coughing is “psychosomatic” since I occasionally cough when he says the word. But you can’t help when you feel the pressure in your chest. Those of you who know my dad know he’s a jokester and can understand- your dad always wants to make it better.
Still, I’m not entirely up to par. I don’t have the energy I used to do things. There are days when I wake up raring to go and other days when I sleep in and don’t get up until noon; it just makes little sense. I’m trying to remain positive, knowing this “season” won’t last forever and things will eventually return to normal.
Because sometimes it’s hard to recognize me anymore. I mean this in a figurative sense (not literally!!) I am grateful I have my parents who continue to support me in my writing despite my lack of interest right now. My mom and I have spent many hours editing earlier chapters, preparing them for editor/agents. I’m grateful they still believe in the project because sometimes I wonder whether I meant to finish it. I believe there needs to be more disabled characters out there represented, even so, I’ve had my share of “No’s” in the industry. Plus, writing is a waiting game.
My friends can tell you that waiting has always been difficult for me. But, of course, it is for everyone; having a disability, there’s extra pressure on oneself to prove your “worth” in terms of societal standards. So what can someone with a disability bring to the table- that kind of thing? While a majority of these pressures are self-imposed, I can’t help but wonder if some of society is still that way.
Hence, this quote by Ann Voskamp about comparison:
Whenever you measure the seeming distance between where you are and where someone else is, discontent fits into your soul. Measuring sticks are self- harming. Comparison is soul-maiming. And likening your journey to someone else’s is a way to hate your soul.” (Page 11 in the Kindle book)
This leads me to today’s music choice, which is Fill My Cup by Andrew Ripp. This song is about relying on God to Fill You up no matter what circumstance. He can and should be enough.